Fixed At Zero
by Ready Or Notxx
Summary: Adam's become the opposite of what Jigsaw wants him to be. He's been totally fixed at zero, with no motivation or direction to move to. He realizes this. How can Jigsaw want him to be this way?  At least he has someone at home for him. Oneshot.


I was booored and was waiting for my brother to get out of the shower, so I typed this up. It's not much, and it's pretty crappy, but I tried. Please enjoy anyways!

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Adam didn't think. He _never _thought. He only hated, and now he has to live with the sole stupid fact that he, Adam Faulkner, killed someone. Adam never thought before he played one of Jigsaw's games. He only said the first things that flew into his head, only uttered the first stupid words that came to him.

And he didn't care about anyone, including himself.

But now, every time he falls asleep, his bedroom transforms into dirty tiles, rusty pipes, and a lake of blood in the middle of the floor. It transforms to him crying with a hand over his shoulder, a hand over a bullet wound, and he knows now that ordinarily back then he would've never cried like that if the circumstances were different.

Adam always tries not to fall asleep, always tries not to let his mind escape to the sole place he hates so much, the sole place that burned a hole through his life. But it's hard. It's hard allowing himself to consciously and subconsciouly focus on the words while he's staying up through three in the morning with idiotic laughing tracks burn through his mind. It's hard not to surrender when the only world he faces consciously is a world where no one wants him, a world where no one acknowledges his presence.

And when he does fall asleep, he'll have a nightmare, just like he always does. A rusty, old voice and the words _Game over _will be etched on his skull just like they have been for so long. Adam will wake up, wake up in his bed, and he'll curl up into a fetal position. He'll reach blindly for the cigarettes on his end table with arms that don't even feel like his own. And he'll stare at the ceiling the rest of the night, just like he always does.

Adam will heal. He knows that. He knows things will end up getting better. He just has to trust that they will.

He'll heal. He just wishes that things don't have to hurt so much while he does.

At least he has someone there whenever he wakes up crying, unlike most other Jigsaw victims. At least he has someone who cares, someone who _knows _what he's been through, knows how to comfort him when he's down. Adam's lucky Lawrence is a doctor. Lucky that Lawrence knows how to deal with "sickly" people, people who have been fixed at zero for so long.

Adam's fixed at zero now, he supposes. Or further down below even that surface.

It's okay, though. Being fixed at zero isn't so bad sometimes. People pity Adam, and sometimes, even Adam's mother calls him just to say hello. Sometimes some pity is a good thing for Adam, seeing as he was never pitied his whole life before Jigsaw yanked him out of a gutter and threatened his life. He's always been viewed as the pest, the imbecile. Now people ask him how he's doing, instead of hurrying him along. Now they offer to take him out for lunch, instead of spitting in his direction or scowling at him as he walks past.

Adam used to be riotous and a real loud mouth who always spoke his mind about _every little thing. _Now he's like a polar opposite-quiet, misguided, confused, angsty, and a man of few words. Lawrence accepts this about him, and he always tells Adam, "I know you're going to heal soon. You can take as much time as you need."

Sometimes Adam wonders if this is what Jigsaw meant by "valuing your life." He wonders if being scared stiff, staring at the ceiling all night, and hiding in the smallest shadows of his apartment is what Jigsaw meant by "valuing life." You can't walk around valuing life all the time. For you to value life, you're going to value it your way.

Adam's only human. Humans make mistakes. How can Jigsaw think he's so perfect? How can Jigsaw think he's supreme?

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Ugh, I know it's short. But... Did you enjoy it? :)


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